Monday, June 1, 2009

first of the month...

and we're off to a good start.
i did most of the things i planned to do today and was pretty productive for a change. woohoo me. tomorrow i don't have work until 5, so i'm going to assemble my drum set then, finish up the laundry and write for a bit. or i might just read, now that it doesn't feel like pulling teeth to do so.

it's almost been a month since i left boston. i can't believe that i've been gone that long. 
even though things are looking up here, i wish i was back already. 
with each passing day, i thought that the ache would deaden a bit more. instead i get these attacks where i become deathly afraid that i'm losing all of my boston friends, and things will never be the same. and it makes me sad to know that there is some truth to this. 

right now the only thing i can do is make the best of my situation and ween myself off of facebook. i'm going to end up doing what i do every summer - become a workaholic. especially this summer, because all of my friends are elsewhere and there isn't much else to do. i'm already hostessing 5 days a week, and soon here i'm going to try and get a second job at a clothing store. plus there is babysitting. and when i'm not doing any of those things, i'll be sleeping, watching movies and thinking about (but not actually) painting or writing.

i know that i can't fight this, and that i'm going to fall into this no matter how much i try try not to. the only thing i can do is fight to slightly alter it. try to force myself to paint a bit, write a bit, read a bit, and go exploring. 

but even that is going to be harder. while drying around today i realized that i know what lies north of my house, and i know what lies south. finding places that i havent found yet is going to be a bit more difficult than turning left or right at the end of the road.

lets hope that the month of june has promise

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